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EdzRjs ♕ 120493
Asian ; Filipina
18 years of fragility.
This has been up since 2008.
Rants of LOVE, life & whatnot.


Affiliates
» AERINE.
» CLA.
» DIANE.
» EPRILIS.
» JAM.
» JANE.
» KARL.
» KATRAE.
» LITA.
» MILES.
» NIKKI.
» RAI.
» RAYNE.
» REENA.
» SAH.
» ZAI.
» JONAH`S STORIES.


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Follow up
Monday, May 24, 2010 7:49 PM
We`re not the same as before.

The cheesy and sweet couple. Two crazy love birds who`s madly and deeply inlove with each other. Inseparable. Unbreakable.

We`re not like that anymore.
He`s not like that anymore.

Maybe to each other, it`s still SOMEWHAT the same but in public.. not anymore.

Can it still go back as it was before? If we see each other again, could it bring back the lost spark? Just like what happened last month when we saw each other, but it was temporary `cause there`s no assurance of a next time. But now, we are free. Can it be?

Nobody told me it would be easy
7:18 PM
Love.
Love has kept me busy for 9 months. The ratio of pain and happiness is 2:1.

Sometimes, I wish that I should`nt have let myself fall. I want to give up, I want to end this pain. I really want to yet I can`t. I tried ignoring, I tried telling myself this isn`t worth fighting for but it just all comes up with one answer. I can`t because I love him so much.

Everybody was right. At first, it`s overflowing with happiness but as your relationship goes on it`s slowly losing its spark. That`s the fckin truth. He asked me, what happen to us? I asked him, what happen to YOU? It`s not us, it`s only you. I don`t know if I`m making any sense right now, I just want to write everything I feel.

This being-apart made my love stronger and had tested my patience. I wish it could happen to him also but I can only wish. I am not really at ease right now. Although, I trust him there`s this feeling that maybe he`ll fall for somebody. My mom said, "Sa umpisa lang masaya pero sa huli nawawala rin yan. Nakakasawa lalo na pag may mamimeet kang iba." That strucked me. Because that`s a fact that I`ve been trying to ignore, trying not to believe in, fooling myself that it`s not possible.

I don`t know when will I give up, but I can feel it. Sooner or later, this will be over. :( I hope not.
I`m so tired of the pain. Whenever I tell him to tell the truth, when he already said the truth then my reaction is bad he will take it back. Tell me, how to know what to believe in?

I`m lucky if this will last a bit longer. This is the problem of being apart, they may suddenly get used to the idea of living without you. That`s a sad fact.

But..
I can`t live without you. My all is in you.

Sharing
Sunday, May 23, 2010 2:57 PM
Photos of my CSB-Facebook friends.




Benildean
Friday, May 21, 2010 6:56 PM
I had my Frosh orientation yesterday. It was sooo fun. HF23. :>
Had fun at the classroom interaction with blockmates. Eventhough, I had a bruise because of the game. Lol. As usual, awkward moments. Good thing, our orientor was so lively and energetic.

MOA after with CSB-Facebook friends. I like them more than my blockmates. Lol. Yeah, I first net them at facebook and look at us now. \:D/ I like them because of my crush? JUST KIDDING!

Tiring though. It`s so hard to commute. :|
I want a dorm or condo. GAAHH.

I`m proud to be a Benildean-Lasallian. :)

La La La
Friday, May 14, 2010 10:09 AM
Yesterday, I finally got my ID! But I have no intetion to place it here.
Also my Alumni ID last May 12. Yeah. \m/

I will rant again..

When will I be enough? Why`d you have to do it again? I love you, I gave you my all. Why? Tell me what`s wrong? Tell me what am I lacking for you to be contented in us. Tell me..

I know you`re sorry. I know you realized it again, that it`s really me. But why am I hurting?

I don`t know if my trust is still enough.

I don`t really know. T______T

Benildean
Friday, May 7, 2010 8:55 PM
I forgot to blog about my enrollment day last May 5. So preoccupied with my lovelife, geez! :))

Dad accompanied me, I wish he didn`t! GAWD. We rode a bus, but we didn`t go straight to CSB. We first went to Faura something because he needs to exchange the dollars to peso for my tuition fee. Ate lunch at Rob Manila. Got there at the exact time, 1:30.

Requirements. Payment. ID picture. Medical & Dental Exam. Funny, I forgot my 1x1 picture. I don`t want a pending case so I went outside to get my picture taken. Thanks to RUSH ID photos! \:D/ Medical was uhhh. Breast exam, ROFL. Finished at about 5:00 pm.

I can`t really remember the exact details.
I`ll have to get my ID on the 12th. RAWR! Dad wants to go with me. NOT AGAIN. PUHLEASE.

Chitty chitty bang bang
8:41 PM
Bumalik siya.

I think he was just pushing me away nung sinabi niyang di na niya ko mahal. Bumalik siya kanina sabi niya di daw siya dapat nakipagbreak dahil daw nasasaktan ako.

Kagabi basta tumawag siya, nagsosorry sa mga nasabi niya. Tapos mga madaling araw, tumawag ulit siya tsaka kaninang umaga. Di ba kung ayaw na niya, ba`t pa siya tumawag? Ayun basta ewan ko na kung anong mangyayari.

If this won`t last, wala na talaga kong magagawa kundi tanggapin nalang.

Last chance na `to.

Goodbye, my boy
Thursday, May 6, 2010 1:55 PM
Disclaimer: Tagalog/Taglish. Hirap na ako e.

Nakipagbreak na siya sakin. Oo, siya. Hindi ako. Iniwan niya na ko kasi hindi ako yung ideal girl niya at hindi niya na ko mahal. Sinabi niya na ang mga couples during highschool ay hindi naman daw tumatagal. Puppy love lang daw tong samin. Siguro nasasabi niya yun kasi first love niya ko at gusto niyang MAKATIKIM PA NG IBA.

Akala ko tatagal kami, akala ko eto na talaga. Alam kong maaga pa para sabihin yun, pero nagtiwala ako sa sarili ko na mali sila. I can make it last. Yet, I failed but I tried so hard.

Mga masasakit na nasabi niya..

Jerome Aquino: wla k lng skin kya umalis k ng alikabok ka
Jerome Aquino: d aq kumakausap s mga ktulad mo
Jerome Aquino: go away you freak
Mahal na mahal ko siya, grabe. Pero hindi enough yun to make him stay.

He loves SNSD more than me. Isa rin sa pinakamasakit. Iiwan niya ko para dun.

Wala akong masyadong masabi.