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EdzRjs ♕ 120493
Asian ; Filipina
18 years of fragility.
This has been up since 2008.
Rants of LOVE, life & whatnot.


Affiliates
» AERINE.
» CLA.
» DIANE.
» EPRILIS.
» JAM.
» JANE.
» KARL.
» KATRAE.
» LITA.
» MILES.
» NIKKI.
» RAI.
» RAYNE.
» REENA.
» SAH.
» ZAI.
» JONAH`S STORIES.


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Goodbye
Saturday, October 24, 2009 5:23 PM
My blog last night was bullshit. Haha!

It officially ended today. I broke up with him because I was really hurt. Little did I know, that there was more hurtful reason. HAHA! Dapat pala matagal na kong nakipaghiwalay.
Why didn`t I read that a long time ago? Why did I believed all of his lies. Today, I had the most heartbreaking moment in my life.

I was a fool. I was so stupid for him. I thought he was different and he can`t do that me. Yet, the worst happened. He cheated. He lied. That`s why all this time, I know there`s something wrong. I could feel it. All my worries were real. I knew it the first time he lied about that, I know there`s something more with that textmate/bestfriend relationship.

He said he loved two people. If he were that contented on me and he loved me enough he would never look for another or even entertain other girls. But he just did. Right under my nose. GREAT. Claps for you boy. :))
So you see, his blog post here is just plain bullshit and lies. Haha!

Yeah. Bitter kung bitter. Nasaktan ako e. I sacrificed everything. Even my somewhat conservative image. Almost cuddling everywhere and there. I loved him so much that I was left with nothing. What did I get in return? A broken heart. Well, maybe this is what really love is. If he`s gonna be happy with her. So be it.. I`ve had enough. I repeated the same mistake again.

We`re now friends. : Mas masakit pala yun. Haha! Nagpapanggap kayong parang walang nangyari. But deep inside, you know you`re dying inside. I`m dying inside. Maybe he`s happy right now, cause he`s free and he had caused enough damage on me.

If I could take back everything, I would. I just loved him too much.

This is just another painful chapter in my life, all I have to do is forget even if it`ll take too long. Moving on is my weakness. But I guess, I`ve done it before I can do it again.
Minsan na akong nadapa, unti unti rin akong makakatayo ulit..


SORRY FOR THE EMO POST.

Words left unsaid
Friday, October 23, 2009 8:32 PM
He said leaving was never an option. But for me, it is an option.

When I think of leaving him. There`s always the question 'Can I live with the pain?'. I think of the sacrifices I made for him, his sacrifices for me. Those two months we`ve been through.
I do weigh my options. There`s always one thing that prevails.. love. It stops me from giving up and leaving him.

I made the same mistake before and I don`t want to repeat it again. Not this time. :(

If this is what it is, I`ll accept it. If I`m destined to be hurt, then I`ll take it wholeheartedly. Maybe this is what I get from hurting him and not trusting him. I`m just one jealous bitch.

The reason why I`m holding on.. Isn`t it obvious?

To you. Even if you hurt me a million times, I`ll still love you. :

REPLY
Tuesday, October 20, 2009 6:16 PM
Hahaha! Thanks for my bf for that heartwarming post. =)))
I love you!

Here in Asian at the ICU. Haha! Good news! Mom`s gonna be transferred to the room later. :D That means she`ll be fine soon.
It`s been a rocky week. Haha! But still, I`m not gonna give up. Thanks again to him for giving me strength. Kahit palagi kaming nag-aaway. =))))


Exams will be on Thursday to Saturday. CSB exam on Sunday. Whew. Goodluck!

Short post. Bawal ata to e. =)))))
HYPER. =p

Happy Monthsary!
Monday, October 19, 2009 9:16 PM
It's been two months and still going. I can really feel that this relationship is going to last forever. I know in my heart that you are the one. Would you trust forever just to anyone? What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us, which is love. Together, we can fulfill our promises and make the most out of things in our life. I love you not because I need you. But I need you because I love you.

HAPPY MONTHSARY to us!

I love you Edz! I love you very much.

- Jerome

Truth be told
Tuesday, October 13, 2009 7:11 PM
Yes. Finally on the computer shop. I love it here, there`s only few people. I don`t know why, maybe because it`s expensive? :o
Yay. The owner just turned on the AC. Hehehe. =))

Anyway. School`s bitching the hell out of me again. I can`t even find time for myself. Ya know. Exams are coming again and sembreak`s just around the corner. Yey. :D So psyched for it but still I need to endure 2 weeks of school pa.

Let`s shift to bad mood.
Okay. So my uhh.. bf and me are having problems. In the first place, I didn`t want to think bad things about him. Unfortunately, those bad things I was thinking was true. So he lied. He fooled me. Not once but thrice? He apologized. I know it was sincere. And I know he`s not capable of doing things like that. But I guess, I was wrong.
I don`t know what to feel anymore. My love for him didn`t change a bit. But the trust was all gone.

I know I`m always saying I want to leave him. But deep inside my heart I know I`ll die if that will happen. As far as I know, siya lang yung lalaking naisip kong makasama sa future.
Jerome Aquino. I really love you so much. I know I have a lot of insecurities yadda. I`ll try hard not to get jealous again. I`ll try to believe in what you say. I will really try hard to trust you again. Just don`t leave me and pleaseee.. don`t hurt me again. :|
There, I said it all.



Goodluck to me. I hope hindi na mangyari yung masamang bagay na nung monday pa dapat nangyari. Wag sa card. :(

We`re so inlove that I acted insane
Saturday, October 10, 2009 5:34 PM
Still no net. :(
Tomorrow we`ll go to Festival. I don`t know if mom`s gonna tell the Globe people to rot in Hell. Kidding. Maybe we`ll change our DSL connection na. I hope. =p

Geez. So much has happened, and I can`t take it anymore. I`m just entrusting all my strength to the Mighty One up there. I hope he won`t make me suffer so much. I know I`ve done wrong, and I`m willing to be responsible of what consequences my behavior has caused. But please not too much. I love my mother. I value her trust so much. :|

Short post. TTFN!
I hope we`ll have a new connection soon. :D

Back
Sunday, October 4, 2009 4:01 PM
Yes. Internet. Finally, but this is just temporary. :|
Our DSL connection is still not fixed. I`m just using my brother`s Globe Tattoo and his tiny little laptop. Haha! I`m already on our balcony, because of poor signal. Good thing, the sofa was being dried up. Comfy. :D

Okay. It`s been what 8 or 10 days since I last used the internet. All thanks to Ondoy! You made my life really miserable.
How could I sum up everything that has happened in just one entry? Haha! Expansive dose of words. :))

Let`s start last Sept. 26 where I had a one of a kind experience.
It was the Open House of the Assumption College. I never watched the news so I thought the rain wasn`t so bad. Little did I know that it would ruin everybody's lives.
We got there on time. I was with Kat. We had the Campus Tour, OMYYY. I fell in love with the school. =)) Orientation. Then the Entrance Exams. It wasn`t that easy. O.O Electricity went out. Results wasn`t given. Yaddaaa.
After we rode the AC`s shuttle to Glorietta. Ate at McDo. Panicked! Haha! My stupid brother went home and won`t be able to fetch us because our house was already flooded. So we decided to rode a bus. MYGAWD. 3 hours stranded in Magallanes. Rly, the bus wasn`t moving. Then finally, we were already in Alabang. We thought we can go home na. But luck wasn`t with us. Stranded in Alabang until evening. When we made up our mind, we stayed at Sogo. HAHAHAHAHA. The loveseat. Lol. Making out couples! AHAHHAHAHAHA. =))
Kat left me. So I was alone. O.O I almost fell asleep. Good thing, my bf was texting me. Yay. [that was so awkward to type. BF. HAHAHA.] Then my bro fetch me at around 8. I think. I was with my sister. She was stranded also. :p

GRABE. I thought that was the end of the world.
Well. After that horrible incident. MAS MATINDI PA. Imagine our house was full of water until the waist. So the next day and the next and next. HAHAHAHA. We cleaned our house. MUD. Eff. And that horrible refrigerator. XD
Imagine for 1 week, all I did was clean. Wash the dishes. Baby sit. Blah blah. :|

I thought I`ll be able to go out of the house. Yet, another typhoon strucked us. So there, my epiphany continued.

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEMIL NAPAY!
ANDD...
JEROME AQUINO.
I love you guys! Maybe next time, I`ll be able to make bawi on your birthday. XD


All I can say is.. I fckin` survived. Haha! Thanks to Jerome for giving me the strength to hold on. I love you. Cheesy. :))

I`m psyched for school.
Field trip was postponed. Bummer.

I know.. you cant` understand this entry. Expansive dose of words nga. Sobrang naipon na lahat ng events and thoughts hindi ko na naorganize sa utak ko. Haha! Bear with me.

Till then.
TATA! <3